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"Quadrepeat" Celebration Opens Interdimensional Rift; Champion's Wife Admits the Tentacles are "kind of doing it for her"

Montpelier Official Diverts Road Salt Budget to Fantasy Team; "Husband Will Be Beating Himself Off," She Warns

Connecticut Delegate Refuses Peaceful Transfer of Power, Declares Self 'Eternal Champion' Following Playoff Exit

Montpelier Braces for Nudity and Violence; Mayor Begs Eagles Fan to "Please Put the Batteries Down"

Aging Manager Prowls Waiver Looking for Young Fresh Legs to Fill Holes

Gundlers Institute Reminds Local Professor That "Buying Low" on Human Beings Remains a Federal Crime

Montpelier Man Starts Season with Penix, Looks to Finish with Tua T; League "Redistricting" Proposed to Stop Super-Team

You Haven't Lived Until You've Had My Cousin's Hot Regina

Montpelier Man Acquitted after Hurling Sandwich at Commissioner

Investigation Reveals 6-Week Losing Streak Stems From ‘Curse of the Patucos’

League-Wide Cataclysm Traced to Failed Wing-Joint Proprietor, CERN Physicist Warns

"Please, Don't Worry About Me," Ousted Manager Pens 700-Word Essay To Former League

White House Task Force Reportedly Targeting Two Montpelier Men

"Please Don't Tell Joan": Manager's Faustian Bargain with Sun God Results in First Place, Profound Spiritual Crisis

Swayze Takes Center Stage in "Dick vs. Butt" Showdown

Ice Brought into Canadian Man's Home; Future of Blog Questioned

Montpelier Man Puts Penix in Superflex Position

Man In Shower stuns 11 Fully-Clothed Opponents

Man Beats Wife, Declares Himself 3-Peat Champion, Vows to Become "Quadrepeater" with Full Backing of Scientific Institute

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