Man In Shower stuns 11 Fully-Clothed Opponents

MONTPELIER, VT – In a conspiracy that sources are calling watergate, 'Leigh's Team' manager, Leigh, is at the center of an incident of truly Hugh Package proportions. While the rest of the league gathered on a Hackamore back porch last Monday—fueled by Domino's pizza, a hastily made cake, and the occasional, inexplicable shout of 'Viva!' from Revolutionary Dick Love—Leigh participated remotely from Connecticut, the state best known for its high taxes and for producing actor Paul Giamatti. From this distant outpost, he somehow secured both Patrick Mahomes and Baker Mayfield in the draft's final rounds.

The maneuver, which sources are calling a "form of digital larceny," reportedly involved the two quarterbacks being rendered completely non-selectable for all other managers. Only after Leigh had calmly added both players to his roster did they suddenly reappear on the main board, leaving the rest of the league staring at their screens with the blank incomprehension of an out-of-towner looking at the lofty burrito prices at Mad Taco.

"It was like he was a ghost in the machine, if the ghost smelled like Irish Spring," stammered the manager of Remember Myron Guyton, still visibly shaken. Jarred (with two 'R's and not one, he clarified), added ominously, "This is classic Leigh. I know him very, very well.” 

The bewildered manager of the Rusty Hambones mused, “I would have said he bribed the commissioner with a handy to make this happen. But I was right next to the commissioner, and it’s not possible. Right? Unless…”

When reached for comment between what sounded like vigorous scrubbing sounds, Leigh remained unperturbed. "I do all my drafts from the shower," he stated, as if explaining a perfectly normal routine. "The acoustics are optimal, the steam helps me think, and the tile provides an echo chamber for my best ideas. It's an immersive experience the rest of you are simply missing out on."

In a formal statement issued while pausing a game of Super Smash Bros, the manager of the Wife-Defeating Grundlers confirmed his research body was on the case. "The Gundlers Institute has opened a full investigation. We've retained a shaman on Fiver to probe for etheric tampering, and I've reassigned half the staff from my actual, bill-paying job to analyze the draft board's source code. Leigh’s not going to jerry-dodge his way out of this one; the science will find him."

The White Knuckling Commissioner threw up his hands in exasperation. "We're considering implementing a mandatory 'dry draft' rule for all participants next year, perhaps even a 'no-running-water' policy for remote drafters, but honestly, I doubt that will stop him," he sighed, before adding, "Besides, nobody likes a dry handy."

As the league grapples with the fallout, one thing is certain: the legend of Leigh, the shower-drafting savant, has been cemented. Whether he's a technological genius, a master of aquatic sorcery, or simply the only person who remembered to clear his browser cache remains to be seen. For now, he stands as the undisputed king of the 2025 draft, leaving a trail of bewildered, and fully clothed, opponents in his wake.